Nathan’s Story
The relationship between Nathan, a 16-year old, and his mum had reached breaking point. Nathan was refusing to attend school, and his mum felt unable to cope with his behaviour. This resulted in conflict which had escalated to the point where mum was threatening to kick Nathan out of the family home, which would have left him homeless. In an effort to prevent this, Children’s Services referred Nathan and his mum to hyh’s Mediation Service, hoping that they could improve their communication and rebuild their relationship.
The Mediation Journey
Over the course of several sessions, our Mediator used a range of practical tools to help Nathan and his mum work through the underlying causes of their conflict.
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Communication Styles: Through exploring their different communication styles, they discovered that Nathan felt more comfortable communicating via text rather than face-to-face, especially during sensitive moments. This knowledge and understanding allowed mum to adapt her communication, while Nathan agreed to remove the private number setting from his phone to ease mum’s anxiety when he was out.
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Managing Conflict: Both Nathan and his mum reflected honestly on past behaviours, such as sarcasm and shouting. They created a structured plan in order to make space during disagreements. This included mum going for a walk, and Nathan walking away calmly, rather than escalating the situation.
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Love Languages and Appreciation: By exploring their love languages, Nathan and his mum learned how to show care more effectively. While mum valued words of affirmation, Nathan appreciated quality time, leading them to plan more relaxed activities together, such as trips to London.
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Independence and Responsibility: As Nathan prepared for college, they negotiated a balance between his need for autonomy and his household responsibilities.
The Future
By the end of the mediation process the threat of Nathan being kicked out of the family home had been successfully avoided. Six weeks after their final session, a refresher meeting confirmed that the improvements were sustained. Mum noted that conflict was now manageable and far less intense. She also expressed how grateful she was to team and how mediation had changed her and Nathan’s relationship for the better.
This story highlights how mediation serves as a vital intervention for families in crisis. By addressing communication breakdowns, mediation provides the time, space and skills necessary to keep families together in a safe, supportive environment and prevents youth homelessness.